I weighed this morning.
I was up about 2 pounds from last Tuesday. Granted I know this is not all a real fat gain, I didn't eat that much. But I did do a lot of things that I should not have.
1. I did not track all of my food to the best of my ability every day.
2. I did not drink as much water for the last 3 days as I normally do.
3. I did not really exercise like I "planned" on. Other things seemed to take priority.
Basically I did not make myself a priority. I let myself down. I have a bodybugg. I know all out calories in vs. calories out.
When is the time to make myself and my health the most important focus in my life? Yes I have a full plate with full time work, 3/4 time school, John, cats and family. But my health matters too. I keep complaining that I'm overweight and my clothes aren't fitting. Whose fault is that? MINE.
I need to take ownership of my laziness. I need to accept my procrastination. I need to CHANGE these things for myself. I cannot depend on anyone else kicking me in the a$$ to get moving.
I need to better plan my meals so that I consume fewer calories. I do supplement at one of my snacks with a sugar free protein shake that I mix with water or almond milk. I just purchased some greens as well so I can start drinking my greens too. I bought Vibrant Health Green Vibrance. It was highly recommended at the store and I just read many great things about the drink. I look forward to the health perks I may receive from this powder.
I want to lose this weight but it appears I'm too lazy to want to do the work. I didn't gain this weight overnight and I don't expect to lose it that quickly either. Since my PCOS diagnosis, I've done fairly good. The first week my brain kept acting like I was on a diet and starving. I couldn't get satisfied with the foods I was eating and felt hungry nonstop. Now I know this was a whole mind trick thing and that I was perfectly fine but good lord. That was a tough week.
I guess I just need to ask myself if I really want to lose this weight. Am I scared of being thinner like I used to be? Am I worried John may not find me as attractive? Am I just downright lazy? Probably all of these have some ring of truth. Losing weight is not just about physical changes. There is so much emotional work that goes on behind the scenes as well.
I hate seeing myself in pictures. I hate squeezing into my clothes because I refuse to buy a different size. I'm tired of struggling to bend over to tie my tennis shoes. I always say that you are in charge of your own happiness. Don't misunderstand, I am so happy and blessed in my life. But I am not happy about my weight.
The first step is admission I guess right? Question is, what will my second step be?
I guess first and foremost, I need to better plan my meals for the week and cook ahead if possible. I also need to start exercising regularly at lunch. I burn so many more calories a day when I was somewhere at lunch. Standing in line is not walking. :) So here's my plan of attack for this week:
1. Meal plan! - I actually did meal plan this week so I'm covered. I just need to be consistent about this.
2. Drink my water - I'm usually very good about this but the weekends mess me up sometimes and I end up chugging a ton of water before bed and having to tinkle all night.
3. Exercise - go use the complex gym, walk around the block with John, use a workout DVD, use the exercise bike. Just do it! I do not want to say that I will do it 5x a week for 45 minutes because I am obviously not consistent and do not want to feel like I failed because that just leads to more not working out days. I am aiming for consistency at this point.
I will keep a record of how I am doing.
Last update for today is for the No 'Poo Experiment!
I washed my hair last night and I notice that the next day, my scalp itches like crazy. The dermatitis is acting up. But the day after, (which is hair washing day again, lol) it's fine. Last night after "washing" and "conditioning" my hair, it felt odd. Almost like I had too much stuff in it. I'm not sure if I'm still in an adjustment period or if I'm still trying to get that hair product out of my hair from last week.
It looked okay this morning but it feels "dirty" or like I have too much hair product in or something. haha I hope I adjust soon!
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